Teen Titans

California - The Day of the Teen Titans Tryouts

"How did I let you talk me into this?" Damage asked as he sat at a table outside of a motel.

"We need a seventh member," Robin said as he sat next to Damage while he looked at the long line of applicants rounding the block, "and the only way to do that is to hold try outs."

"Next," Superboy said reluctantly. "I hate these things. Why do all of us have to be here?"

"Because I want whoever joins the team to be approved by all of us," Robin replied as the next applicant stepped up. "Powers?"

"Well, I can stop nuclear explosions before they happen, slow down speedsters, I have kryptonite eyebeams, I have the strength of twenty Amazons, I can mimic and double the powers I take in, and I know 700 forms of karate,"

"Name?"

"Judas," the young man said, who was dressed in a Deathstroke type outfit.

There was a long, two-minute pause as everyone just sat in silence before someone spoke up again.

"I like him," Superboy said.

"Me, too," Impulse added.

"No problem here," Omni replied.

"He's cool with me," Damage responded.

"He's cute," Wonder Girl finished.

Robin just rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "This is going to be a long day."

"It's been a week," Terry Berg said as he talked to campus security over the phone. "He hasn't been back to his dorm room, his car's still in the parking lot, and he hasn't shown up to any of his classes. Something must have happened to him after the bonfire last Friday night. All right, I'll keep an eye out for him, just let me know when you find him. Andy's my best friend. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. Find him, please."

Terry hung up the phone and sat back in the chair in the editor's office where he was working. The only person in the world that Terry could depend on was missing.

"Damnit, I'm a reporter, I should be out searching," Terry said as he grabbed his car keys and headed out the door.

"Next," Wonder Girl said as the next applicant approached. He was a six-foot tall kid with red skin, white hair and horns. "Name?"

"Kid Devil," the young man said as Impulse's eyes widened.

"Holy crap!" Impulse shouted as he ran off and returned with a minister's collar and a jar of holy water, sprinkling it on Kid Devil. "The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!"

"The power of Christ is compelling me to kick your ass," Kid Devil told him as he started to get angry.

"It's not working!" Omni shouted to Impulse. "Quick, somebody call a priest! A reverend! A pizza place, because I'm hungry!"

Seren, once a teenage merman who was now cursed with humanity thanks to Felix Faust, had finally gotten used to his two human legs enough to walk on them. He still couldn't figure out what the third incomplete leg just below his waist was for, however.

He walked out of the cave where he'd spent the last week trying to adjust to the surface. He found that since he'd been cursed he could still breathe underwater, but only temporarily. While he still possessed his strength and telepathy, his now human lungs could only survive so long under the water.

Seren walked out onto the crowded beach, fully nude, and the crowd started staring at him. Mother's were covering their children's eyes and others were staring in jealousy at Seren's size as he walked along. After a few minutes, Seren grew tired of the attention he was getting and realized that to fit in he'd need to dress like the humans.

He grabbed a pair of green swim trunks and made his way off the beach. He had to find Felix Faust and force him to remove the curse so he could go home and find his mother's killer...

"Next," Damage said in a tired voice. Four hours and they still hadn't found their seventh member.

A few seconds passed and no one approached.

"Next?" Damage asked again.

"Down here!" The teens looked down at the table and saw two lab mice standing there, dressed in blue and white spandex with capes.

"Names?" Wonder Girl asked as she was barely able to hold her laughter.

"I am... Noodle Noggin. And my power is to baffle the criminal element with my intelligence," the shorter mouse said. "And this is my sidekick, NarfMan."

"Narf!" the other mouse said while laughing.

"His power is to make you want to hit him repeatedly," the first mouse said, tiredly.

"You're kind of small, aren't you?" Superboy asked.

"We're... distant cousins of the Atom," Noodle Noggin said.

"We'll put you on the call back list," Omni told them.

"I know what that means. When you say you'll call that means we have no chance. Come, Narf Man, we must return to our cage and prepare for tomorrow night." Noodle Noggin said as Narf Man followed.

"Why, Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?" Narf Man asked.

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"

They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Then, a motorcycle with two breast-like objects on the front approached as a blonde woman wearing a cape and a thin black bra covering her chest stepped off.

"Who are you?" Superboy asked, gasping for air.

"I'm Shirtless Girl!"

"And what are your powers?" Damage asked.

"These are my powers," Shirtless Girl said as she removed her bra, revealing her chest to everyone. Her breasts literally made a bouncing noise as they were released from their black lace prison. "Get a load of these!"

The boys just sat there, saying nothing. After realizing that her teammates were all too distracted to say anything, Wonder Girl finally spoke up.

"I don't think so," Wonder Girl said. "I hear that the Reservists have an opening."

Suddenly a loud honking sound was heard.

"Uh oh, it's the Twat Signal," Shirtless Girl said. "Some boob must need help. I'd better get my bosom buddy, A-Cup, and head to the Wet Cave."

Shirtless Girl got on her Hooter Scooter and drove away.

"All in favor in taking a five minute break?" Superboy quickly asked, still staring blankly at nothing in particular. Impulse, Robin, Omni and Damage all raised their hands.

Bobbie Klase lay in her hospital bed, comatose to the world. She couldn't tell her story about how she'd ended up there, but her family knew. And so did the shadow that was slowly covering her body. A Raven's screech was heard as the girl's fingers started to slowly move...

Superboy was looking over the currant applicants. "All right, while we're sure you're good at... whatever, we actually need someone whose power isn't to... well, suck."

"The JLA would let us in!" Marvin shouted.

"Yeah, if it was 1973," Omni whispered to Damage.

Wendy, Marvin and Wonder Dog lowered their heads in shame and walked away.

"This bites!" Impulse said in defeat. "We've seen at least a hundred applicants and all of them are duds."

"I don't know," Superboy said wistfully. "Shirtless Girl looked liked she had potential." Wonder Girl looked at him without blinking. "I mean to, um... join another team?"

Just then a hero wearing a red and blue costume with some kind of arachnid on his chest landed in front of them after doing some incredible acrobatics.

"Wow," Omni said. "That looks so cool. What's your name?"

The hero was about to speak when he saw a lawyer standing across the street, shaking his head "no". Then the hero shot some sort of weird liquid out of his hand and swung away.

"Who was that guy?" Fast Track asked.

"I don't know," Omni replied. "But he was awfully friendly for this neighborhood."

Luke McDunnagh was eyeing the girls walking past him in the hallway as he headed to his next class. He was like a kid in a candy store in the halls of UCLA and couldn't decide which delicious goody to settle on as the girls walked past.

Luke was only 16 but was also incredibly smart for his age. Too bad he spent most of his focusing on girls and having fun than his studies, yet somehow managed to graduate two years early and get into a good school. Of course how he pulled that off was another story.

"Mr. McDunnagh," Professor Gandalf, one of the University's oldest professors, said as he approached the young man. "I trust your mind is focused on the big calculus test this Friday. Need I remind you that you need no less than an A on this test."

"Yeah, and what happens if I fail?" the young man asked.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Professor Gandalf shouted.

Damage was resting his head on the table, Omni and Impulse were both leaning back in their chairs, and Robin, Wonder Girl and Superboy were trying not to go insane from all the applicants that were applying, and promptly failing, the tryouts.

"Where are the heavy hitters?" Superboy asked. "Where's CM3? Batgirl? Supergirl? Where are all these losers coming from?"

"I think it's time we gave up for today," Robin told them as he stood up. "It's obvious this just isn't our day to-"

It was then that a helicopter appeared from out of nowhere and several armed guards poured out.

"Teen Titans, we've been instructed to bring you with us," the lead soldier told them.

"Bring us where?" Robin asked as he got ready to fight.

"To D.E.O. Headquarters," the soldier replied. "Director Bones wishes to meet with you."

"Bones?" Superboy asked. "I wonder what ol' skull head wants?"

"No," Omni said nervously. "I'm not going to D.E.O. Headquarters."

"You alright?" Damage asked as he noticed Omni was visibly shaken. "Nobody's forcing you to go." Damage looked at the others. "You guys go, I'll stay here with Cam."

"Actually, it might just be better if three of us go," Robin replied. "Cassie, Conner, we'll check it out. The rest of you hang back in case we need you."

"They're dumb enough to actually split their team up?"

"They're naive and unfocused. They lack what their predecessors had."

"Whatever, I just want them destroyed."

"As long as I receive my... payment, the Titans will fall."

Grant brought Cameron a soda as they sat on the steps outside of their dorm room.

"Want to talk about it?" Grant asked as he sat down next to Cam. "You looked pretty upset when they brought up the D.E.O."

"I- I thought they were coming to take me back," Cameron whispered as he looked down into the can. "The D.E.O. raised me for most of my life. They were going to use me as a weapon."

"Kind of like what Vandal Savage had in store for me," Grant replied as he put an arm around Cam's shoulder. "Look, no matter happens, I swear that I'll never let those guys take you back."

"Really?" Cam asked as he looked up.

"Look, you're annoying, you butcher good songs when try to sing with them on the radio, and you really need to stop leaving your underwear in the kitchen, but...you're my friend," Grant told him. "And you helped me when I needed it. The Teen Titans have always been about family. In a...warped way that kind of makes us like brothers."

"I always wanted a brother," Cam told him as he hugged Grant. "Having a plant for a sister isn't as great as it sounds."

Robin, Wonder Girl and Superboy were taken to D.E.O. Headquarters, where they were led to the office of Director Bones. As the man in the chair turned around, a skeletal figure with a cigar hanging from the skull's mouth greeted them.

"Welcome, Teen Titans," Bones said. "Can I offer you a drink?"

"What do you want from us?" Robin asked as he approached the desk.'

"Oh, it's not what we want from you," Bones replied. If he had the ability, he'd have smiled. "It's what we want to give to you."

Terry was at the beach, retracing Andy's steps. The last time anyone had seen him was when he left the bonfire on Friday night. Somewhere between the beach and the dorms, where Andy's car had been found parked, Andy had vanished.

"Where are you?" Terry asked as he saw Bart and his boyfriend Cody Wyatt walking along the beach.

"Yeah, the tryouts pretty much sucked," Bart told him as they walked along the empty beach. "But you know Robin-"

"Actually I don't," Cody replied as he looked out over the water.

"Oh, yeah," Bart said as they walked along the sand just as Terry approached them.

"Have you guys seen Andy?" Terry asked, giving Bart a cold stare. "He's been missing since Friday."

"No," Cody replied worriedly: He'd grown up with Andy; they were like brothers. "I hope he's all right. Are the police searching?"

"The police are a joke," Terry told him. "Apparently a missing student's not high on their list of priorities."

"I know some people who can help search," Bart told him. "We can organize search parties and stuff."

"That'd be great," Terry told him. "Look...Andy's my best friend. He's the only guy in the world I trust. If something happened to him, I'd never forgive myself."

"Dude, chill, we'll find him," Cody assured him. "Come on, Bart, let's get home so you can call your...friends."

Terry watched Cody drag Bart off. There was something he definitely did not like about Bart Allen.

"We should probably go make sure Robin and the others are all right," Grant said as he finished his soda and stood up. "Unless you don't want to go."

"No, I think I need to face my fears," Cam told him as he stood up just a laser blast knocked them off the apartment steps.

"Oh, isn't that cute?" Gizmo, a short man dressed in green spandex said as he was held up by four giant mechanical spider legs protruding from his backpack. "Two Teen Titans having an emotional moment."

Mammoth and Jinx stood next to him, getting ready to charge forward.

Bart got into his Impulse costume and kissed Cody's cheek. "I'll be back soon."

"I'll have the pizza waiting," Cody promised him. As soon as he rushed out the front door of the dorm's building, a dart hit him in the neck and Impulse fell forward, hitting the ground hard. He tried to move, but found he was paralyzed.

"Hello, cousin," Inertia said as Dr. Light and Deathstroke stood next to him. "Long time, no see."

Director Bones was leading Robin, Superboy and Wonder Girl into the lower levels on the D.E.O. Headquarters.

"As you know, Titans West has recently disbanded," Bone said as Robin looked around. "Most of them have simply vanished or are trying to live normal lives."

"Or they don't want to be found," Robin told him. "Who can blame them after what happened?*"

(*Titan's West, you know you want to check it out. - TC)

"Yes, well, all of their surviving members were free to move on," Bones replied as they reached a large metal door. "All except one."

The door started to creak open as the guards loaded their guns, just to be safe.

"Teen Titans, meet your newest member," Bones said as Robin, Wonder Girl and Superboy saw a teenage boy sitting in a cell, wearing a teal and black costume, with long shaggy blonde hair. His hands and feet were heavily chained. His head was hanging so that all they could see was a shadowy face staring at them with dead brown eyes.

"Risk."

To Be Continued...

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