"Damnation of Motor Vehicles"
My name is Bart Allen and I'm IMPULSE, the fastest man alive... next to the Flash. But that'll change someday. Uncle Jay says that I'm already surpassing Wally in a lot of ways. I can remember everything I read, which no other speedster can, and I can pass through solid objects without blowing the shit out of them. Not that I'm bragging, of course. Oh, hell, who am I kidding? I LOVE being better than Wally! Bart arrived outside of the Garrick home and walked through the front door. "Uncle Jay?" "There he is," Jay Garrick said as he sat in the living room with a newspaper in hand. "How's the college man?" "Pretty good," Bart replied as he sat down. "I was just kind of homesick." "You know you're always welcome here," Jay told him, seeing a look of concern on Bart's face. "Is there something on your mind, son?" "Actually...," Bart said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I know it's awkward but I need your advice on relationships." "JOAN!" Jay shouted, knowing where this conversation was leading. Grant Emerson, the hero known as Damage. He has the power to detonate his body with massive force, as well as a variety of untapped powers from various Justice Leaguer's DNA. The potential to be the most powerful hero in the world is on his shoulders. Too bad he's stuck grading papers as the Teacher's Aide on the UCLA campus. "You're still here?" Mr. Tooley asked as he walked in with a cup of coffee for Grant. "You know, you are allowed to have a life outside of this class." "I know," Grant said as he continued looking over the papers. "I've just never been a very social person." "The first vacation of the semester's coming up," Tooley told him. "You're not going to have an excuse to be here. What are you going to do, hang out in your dorm room?" "Actually, the dorm I was staying in caught fire," Grant told him. "All the dorms filled up pretty quick and with the lack of space...I've been sleeping in my car." "My #1 TA shouldn't be sleeping in a car," Tooley told him. "I happen to know of one student who's looking for a roommate. For some reason no one wants to room with him, but he seems like a reasonably bright person." "Oh, no," Grant said as he realized who the man was referring to. "Not--" Cameron Weinberg, the hero known as Omni. An alien with the power to copy and use the powers of anyone he comes in contact with…and also one majorly nutty college student. Cameron poured the water over the potted plant sitting on his windowsill. "There you go, Chloe," Cameron said to the plant. "How's my sister doing today?" The potted plant remained lifeless and still as Cameron kissed one of the leaves. "College? It's going great. I just wish I could make at least one friend who wanted to hang out with me. Everyone seems to always want to avoid me." A knock came at the door at Cameron leapt up in anticipation. "A VISITOR!" Cameron flew toward the door and opened it, seeing Grant standing there with two bags at his feet. "I-I heard you needed a roommate," Grant quietly said as Cameron pulled him into a hug. Actually, it was more of the fact that his car had been towed that led him to his decision. "I was hoping you'd show up," Cameron told him as Grant immediately regretted his decision. "I've got your room ready." Cameron quickly shoved the card for the car towing service in his pocket when Grant wasn't looking before taking him to his new room. Tim Drake, a.k.a. Robin. No longer a mere sidekick to the Batman, he's grown over the years into his own hero, now flying solo on the campus of UCLA. Today he faces a danger much more threatening than the Joker himself. "I'm here to get a new license," Tim said to the clerk at the DMV. Tim had made the mistake of letting Bart see what his driver's license looked like, since Bart had never seen one. He had never seen a license be so mutilated when Bart lost his focus and went chasing after a chupacabra, which then turned out to be Rosie O'Donnell. "I need to see three forms if ID," the man said. He was wearing a red and black striped shirt and had a goatee. The nameplate on the desk read 'F. Krueger'. "All I have is my student ID," Tim told him as he dug through his pockets. "THREE forms of ID," the man told him in a cold voice. "Be gone with you!" He pushed a button under the table, and opened a trap door under Tim. Another door opened in the ceiling at the very end of the line dropping Tim at the end of a very long customer line. He rubbed his sore behind and headed out to find two more pieces of ID. Cassie Sandsmark, Wonder Girl to the rest of the world. An amazon in training, and apprentice to Wonder Woman. Also currently attending UCLA with her friends. Cissie King Jones fired her arrows at Cassie, who held up her bracelets and blocked all of them as the girl fired off rapid shots at her best friend. "Thanks for helping me with my training," Cassie said as Cissie, the former heroine known as Arrowette, fired the last arrow. "No problem," Cissie replied. "So, I heard the old gang's getting back together." "Yeah," Cassie replied as she took a drink of lemonade. "Me, Tim, Connor, Bart, Damage and Omni." "No Empress or Secret?" Cissie asked. "Nobody's seen Secret since Young Justice broke up," Cassie replied with a sigh. "And Anita's training to go into 'the business' with her father. But what about you? Ever think about putting the costume back on again?" Connor Kent. Superboy. The Teen of Steel with an ego to match. Born with the powers of a Superman and the personality of James Dean, the younger clone of Superman doesn't attend college with his Titans teammates. Instead he focuses on his high school studies in Smallville. Connor was staring at the naked, airbrushed form of the playmate of the month, which was blocking his view of his history book. He was sitting on his bed, as his best friend Kenny Klutter sat on the floor next to him. "Alright, we need to go over this material one more time," Kenny said as he looked up at Connor. "Wow, I had no idea you loved history so much." "You have no idea," Connor replied as he fixated on the large breasts of the blonde in front of him. "Hey!" Kenny said as he pulled the magazine away from his friend. "We're supposed to be studying here. You're semester grades depend on this test." Kenny flipped the page, finding the pages stuck together. He looked at Connor with a disgusted look. "I spilled grape jelly on it," Connor told him. "And what are you so worried about? You're a straight A student." "And you're not," Kenny told him. "Was this green grape jelly? Anyway look, you're my best pal. My only pal, actually. I don't want to move onto college without my best friend. Before I met you, I figured I'd just go to college and study and become like the next Bill Gates or something. Since I met you, I realized how much fun I could be having and I don't want to go through frat parties and keggars and sneaking into Girls Gone Wild shoots without my best friend there with me." "Since you put it that way," Connor replied as he picked up his book. Impulse "So, you've been having... feelings for this person?" Joan asked as she brought a tray of tea out. "Not just feelings," Bart said as he started pouring sugar into the cup. "I-I think it may be love." "Bart, you know ever since we took you in, we've been doing our best to try bring you up the best we could," Jay told him. "And I'm very proud of the fact that you came to us about this. Have you been-" Bart stopped pouring the sugar for a second and blushed. "Uncle Jay, that's kind of personal, but...no. Don't worry, I'm still a virgin." "And when do we get to meet to this special person in your life?" Joan asked. "Actually, you already have," Bart replied as he went back to pouring sugar into his tea. "You're not going to believe it, but the person I've been seeing is-" Damage & Omni Grant was taking a shower, scrubbing down his body when he felt something on his back. His eyes widened as he turned and saw a brush on his back, being held by Cameron, who was fully clothed. Grant screamed and jumped back, pulling the shower curtain over his lower half. "What are you doing in here!?" "I made you some lunch," Cameron told him as held up a tray of food. "Hope you're hungry." "Get out of here!" Grant shouted as he threw Cam out of the bathroom. Robin After two hours, Tim finally made his way back to the front of the line. "Alright, I've got three forms of ID," Tim began, "and then some. Here's my student ID, my credit card, my high school diploma, my birth certificate and a picture of me at a Spice Girls concert." "Yes, that's all fine and good," the clerk told him, "but what I REALLY need to see is your Channel 4 Kid's Club card!" "I don't have one of those," Tim told him. "That's even ridiculous that you'd ask for that." "To the back of the line with you!" the clerk shouted. "No way!" Tim told him. "That's unfair!" "Unfair?" the clerk said as he stood up, his voice cold, dark and echoing. He put on a battered old brown hat. "This is the DMV, boy, God's ORIGINAL plan for hell. Long lines, rude clerks and no hope of ever leaving…you must suffer like ALL my children must suffer!" The clerk laughed manically as he pushed a button under the desk as several flame geysers shot up behind him. "Welcome to hell! Welcome to the D! M! V! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA" The clerk pushed another button and sent Tim riding on a conveyor belt to the back of the line. Wonder Girl "Honestly, no," Cissie told her as drank a cup of lemonade. "Being a superhero was never right for me. My mother pressured me into it to relive her glory days, then when my teacher got killed and I snapped...I don't think I'll ever put the Arrowette costume on again." "Just remember that you've still got your friends here for you," Cassie said as she stood up. "Ready to go another round?" "Sure," Cissie told her as she picked up her bow. "So, when do you finish with this Amazon training?" "Soon, I hope," Cassie replied as she watched Arrowette load up her arrows. "I just hope I do Diana proud." Someone Else Two teenage boys were fishing on a pier, their legs dangling over the water. They both had a few fish apiece already, ready to be taken home and prepared to eat. "Hey, what's that?" the first boy asked as he saw something float up to the surface. It looked like a hundred dollar bill. "It's a hundred bucks!" the second boy shouted as another bill floated up. They both reached down to grab the money and as soon as their hands were on the bills, they were both yanked under, having taking the bait like two fish to a worm. Fifteen minutes later, both washed up on the shore of the beach, naked with their hands and feet bound with the fishing wire of their broken poles. A shadow under the water, in the form of a teenage merman, swam away, having avenged the murders of his scaled friends. Impulse "Just tell this person how you feel," Joan told Bart as she sat next to Jay. "As long as you love this person and they love you, it will be fine." "I'm not sure what it is," Bart told them. "I just know that I really like hanging out with this person. I haven't felt like this about someone since Carol." "How is she doing?" Joan asked. "She seemed like such a nice girl." "She's...engaged," Bart told them. "After we broke up, she started dating another guy. He proposed after graduation." "And you're alright with this?" Jay asked in shock. "No," Bart told him. "I'm always going to love Carol, but with my lifestyle...I wasn't being fair to her. She deserves a guy who'll love her with everything he has. I wish I could, but-" "I understand," Jay replied with a sigh. "Just be sure that this is what you really want. For once in your life, think about a situation before you jump into it." Robin "Did I pass?" the teenage boy asked as he looked hopefully at the clerk. "Yes," the clerk replied with an evil grin. "You passed the test...to get into hell!" He pushed a button on the desk, but before the boy could fall through, Tim leapt forward and grabbed him. "I'm here for my driver's license," Tim told the man, "and I'm not leaving without it." The clerk laughed as he brushed Tim off and stood up. "Then let's go." The clerk jumped up on top of the desk and jumped to the floor. Tim dove toward him and delivered blow after blow as the clerk just laughed at him. After several punches, Tim backed off. The clerk smirked as he backhanded Tim, sending him flying across the floor. "Come on, little man," the clerk said as he stomped toward Tim. "You've got the car, I've got the license. Come on!" Tim stood up and kicked the clerk in the midsection before doing another spin kick to knock the clerk off balance, knocking him behind a row of chairs. He carefully approached, not sure of what to expect. He found the clerk gone as he looked behind the chairs, which was when he felt the clerk grab him. "You think you've got what it takes?" the clerk whispered as held Tim by the shoulders. "I've been denying licenses for a long time, bitch!" With that, the clerk tossed Tim across the room and against the wall. Someone Else "I'm sorry," the doctor told the mother of 18-year-old Bobbie Jo Klase. "There's no hope of her ever waking up." As her mother cried on her brother's shoulder, Bobbie's little brother, 15-year-old Matthew, sat in the chair, trying to hold back his tears. He'd make the man who did this pay, but he was going to have to find a way to make that happen. As Bobbie lay in her bed, in a deep comatose state, a raven flew in and appeared on the windowsill. It let out a caw as it eyed the girl. Wonder Twins Zan was sitting in the living room of the small two-bedroom apartment he shared with his twin sister Jayna, lifting a weight in his right hand. A small monkey was sitting on the table, watching him while eating a piece of fruit. Jayna walked in with a newspaper in her hand. "There's another electronics shipment coming in. It might have the final pieces we need for the device. I still don't feel right about this, though." "Jayna, we have to do this," Zan told her. "Ever since we came to this planet, I've seen how miserable you are. I'm going to get you home, I swear." "And what about you?" Jayna asked. "I don't want to go to Exor without you." "You know why I can't go back," Zan told her as he put the weight down. "But you can still go home. All you have to do is tell them I'm dead and they'll welcome you home with open arms." "I'm going to miss you, little brother," Jayna said as she sat down on the couch. "And I'll miss you, too," Zan said with a sigh. "But it's the way it has to be. You belong on Exor with our family. I don't belong anywhere." Impulse Bart sighed as he watched his ex-girlfriend Carol from across the park. She was laughing and having a good time with her fiancée. She looked so happy. Happier than she'd ever been with him, which was his fault. Bart loved Carol with all his heart, he truly did. But there was a part of him that he knew she'd never accept. He knew it wasn't fair to her, or their relationship. He let a single tear fall before he disappeared in the blink of an eye. Damage "This isn't going to work," Grant said as he talked to Mr. Tooley in the classroom. "Cam is driving me insane. He TUCKED ME IN last night." "Grant, Cameron's a good kid," Tooley told him. "He just needs a friend." "He needs valium," Grant replied. "Grant, I think you need to see this," Tooley said as he handed Grant a paper. "From the English Lit Professor." "It's an essay on me," Grant said. "'My Best Friend' by Cameron Weinberg." Grant read through the paper, detailing his past growing up in the D.E.O. base and how Grant was his first true friend. "I never knew how lonely the guy was growing up." "You're probably the first real friend he's ever had," Tooley said. "I know he can be...distracting." "Distracting? The kid talks to plants," Grant replied. "Just give him some time," Tooley replied. "Just look out for him, alright?" Grant just sighed. "Fine. One more chance." Grant left the room as Tooley sat back in his chair. He opened his desk drawer and looked down at the D.E.O. I.D. badge looking back up at him. "Don't worry, Grant. You won't have to watch over him long." The Justice League Watchtower "We have no jurisdiction over them anymore," Flash said as he looked at the members of the Justice League. "They're not kids anymore." "Are you honestly saying that we sit back and do nothing?" Aquaman asked as he crossed his arms. "Remember what happened on Young Justice's last mission?" "Wally's right," Batman said as he sat back and folded his hands together on the table. "It's been two years. Let's see how they handle themselves after all this time apart. Robin and Wonder Girl have both grown since then, and Damage has been responsible enough with his powers." "But you're forgetting about Bart, Connor and this Cameron kid," Green Lantern replied. "Bart's grown up a lot from what I've seen," Flash replied. "Although his decision making skills leave a lot to be desired." "And Connor's--," Superman started to say. "I'm sure Robin, Wonder Girl and Damage will keep an eye on them." Robin The clerk laughed as he came forward toward Tim, who was laying on the ground. Tim sat up and rubbed his sore shoulder and looked around for anything to fight with. He saw the camera used to take license pictures and jumped up and grabbed it, flashing the bulb in the clerk's face, blinding him. The clerk stumbled around and backed into the license printer, releasing every license he'd ever denied. "No! My souls!" the clerk shouted as the people started running in to reclaim their lost licenses. Tim delivered the final punch to take the clerk out. He picked up his renewed license and looked at the unconscious man. As he walked away, the man's eyes shot open. Damage & Omni Grant returned home and found Cameron making waffles. "I made you some waffles," Cameron proudly told him. "Well, I do like waffles," Grant said as he saw the large stack sitting on the table. "Look, Cam, we have to talk." "You're moving out, aren't you?" Cam asked with sadness in his voice as he stopped mixing the batter. "No," Grant told him as he sat down. "But I think we need to define something I like to call 'personal space'." Cameron smiled as he went back to baking for his best friend. Impulse Bart returned home and found his roommate sitting on the couch, reading 'Alas, Babylon'. "Your cousin Wally called," Cody told him without looking up. "Says he needs to talk to you about your after school activities. I didn't tell him that I knew about the Titans." "Good, because I was going to wait to tell him," Bart said as he sat down next to Cody. "You saw Carol, didn't you?" Cody asked as he put his book down and noticed the sad expression on Bart's face. "Dude, you've got to stop beating yourself up over this." "I know," Bart told him. "It's just...she's so much happier now than she was when she was with me. Why is that?" "I doubt she is," Cody said as he looked over at Bart. "I know she meant a lot to you, man. And you were completely honest with her about everything. That takes a lot of balls to break up with your girlfriend to keep from hurting her." "She broke up with me," Bart whispered. "I know I told everyone I broke things off...but she left me. She couldn't handle being with a guy who-who's--" "How many times do I have to tell you? Bi-sexual is not a dirty word, Bart," Cody told him. He felt bad for Bart and moved closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Hey, it's her loss. She gave up a really great guy." Cody leaned in and pressed his lips against Bart's to make him feel better. "Lucky for me, right?" "Lucky for both of us," Bart started to smile a little as he looked into Cody's eyes. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "I hope so," Cody said as he stared back at Bart. "Good," Bart replied. "Race you to the arcade. A few rounds of Dance Dance Revolution should lift my spirits." Bart rushed out the door as Cody laughed before standing up and grabbing his jacket. "Good old Bart." The End... Previous Issue | Next Issue |
